Chasing and Making History
The time for fights are over, the time for talking is now… uh, until it’s time to fight again! These talking segments can really drag, especially when it’s the main event slot, but damn this was a good segment. Triple threat matches these days are usually booked quite lazily. Usually with 2 superstars having heat and a third person just being added on to take the pin (see: Clash of Champions Women’s title match). This title feud feels like a three-way hate fest, and a triple threat feels like the only way to solve this.
The three big dogs of the WWE furiously marched down to the ring one by one. One more pissed off than the other. After AJ Styles reminded us why he’s the champ that runs the camp (love that name), Dean Ambrose fired down to the ring. I’m slightly bothered by Ambrose bringing up the low blow so much, it feels like he’s making excuses. But, the fire that Ambrose has had since he lost the title completely eclipses that little nugget. When John Cena came down to the ring, it got so much better! I love when characters react as we would, it makes the moment more authentic. We all knew Cena was going to do his Cena thing, yelling and preaching. AJ and Dean knew it too, and they didn’t have time for that crap. Both of them getting in his face and bringing him down a notch.
I was really hoping that AJ would be an even bigger dick, and refer to himself as a “icon, a legend” over Ric Flair. But Dean is the one who really shined here. He’s been playing up how important he’s been in the company the past few years, working the most matches, being the guy to call when they need a main event, etc. And he’s suck and damn tired of being pushed aside and not getting the credit he deserves. He just loves getting all up in Cena’s stupid face about it. And Cena, without saying a word just goes to violence. It all ended with Ambrose hitting AJ with a stiff Dirty Deeds and holding up the title to close-off the show.
Everybody looks good in this feud, and there’s heat all over the place. This is as real as a title feud gets. 3 competitors who legitimacy believe that they are the best, and they will get in the face of, or beat up whoever they have to, to prove it. Come on, No Mercy!
Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl
The Miz showed us the Dolphumentary while Dolph Ziggler pouted in the ring. The only thing I can say is “poor Ziggler”. At this point, Ziggler is the Cleveland Browns, and that idea is pretty much indelible. I can’t see him as anything but a loser. Miz is such a golden heel these days, all I can do is feel sorry for Dolph. Not enough to care if he wins, I kind of just want Miz to take him to the back of the proverbial barn and put him out of his misery.
The Dolphumentary was just perfect, especially the sound bites from superstars talking about how much of a loser he is. After that, Dolph gave one of those “even though I’m a loser, I still have the fans” speeches. For every 10 bad things, there’s one good thing, that’s a pretty bad ratio. These yell-fests get really old after a while, especially after a million losses. I don’t mind wrestlers doing it for the fans, but in the context of the show, it should be about wins and losses. That’s what got this feud so far, last weak Dolph expressed his disdain for having so many losses. But this week, he is just grateful for the kids?! I wanted more fire from Ziggler, because Miz was bringing it. Especially when he claimed that he’d be the one to end his dying career.
This was an all-around great segment, from taking a detrimental look at Dolph’s career to giving us a warm fuzzy 2006 feeling when the Spirit Squad came out to humiliate the number one contender. The stakes are riding pretty high come Sunday, and we’re all on board to see a dramatic finish to this surprisingly good storyline.
The show opened with Bray Wyatt and Kane in a rematch from Backlash. Bray didn’t talk, it was just going to be a fight. I was excited because I don’t like hearing Bray talk anymore, because it doesn’t mean anything. At least when JBL called himself a wrestling God he was beating everybody and throwing his money all over the place. Bray is just a weirdo who keeps getting weirder. The match booking made no sense. Why not have Bray go over for once; what does Kane need a win for?! But after Randy Orton popped on the screen, Bray just left. Yea the match was pointless, but gives him something.
I don’t know how to break down what happened the rest of the night. Bray was locked in a shipping container, and freaked out for a while, until he disappeared. And Randy just kinda hung out. Look, I get it. They’re doing a thing where Bray is crazy, but Orton is his own kind of crazy and can hang with the Bray kind of crazy. That would work a little bit more if there was some sort of wrestling context to put it in. I don’t know what any of this means!!
Belligerence is Bliss
I don’t know when this happened, but the Smackdown Women’s division seems pretty deep. The divas pretty much started from scratch at the beginning of the draft, nobody got a crowd reaction but Becky Lynch. But Carmella and Miss Bliss have generated heat seemingly out of nowhere. All they really had to do was beat up some babyfaces a bunch. The moonwalking and in-ring performances don’t hurt, but all they really did was beat them up. Wow, booking seems so simple.
Alexa and Nikki were poised to have a good match; I’ve been a fan of Nikki’s work since she came back. Carmella is such a loud mouth she caused Nikki to throw Bliss at her, and boom, a tag match is born. Bliss pinned Lynch again, and though I’m not expecting a win, I’m looking for Lynch to step up and get some payback. The stark contrast between Bella and Carmella has boosted their feud as well. They’ve literally made something out of nothing in this division and I love it and so do you.
Since the Usos are all “urban” and stuff now we get to hear Ranallo talk about rappers making diss tracks, and… that’s the cherry on top in this damn near perfect Uso Heel turn. After killing American Alpha last week they look like the best team in the division, including the champs. That’s what you want in a title match. American Alpha still looks like the best team in the division, but they keep getting cut off at the knee, literally. But we all know they’ll be getting that spot back. That’s that depth thing I was talking about.
The champs haven’t been doing much the last few weeks, but they still got a nice pop when they came to save American Alpha, so that’s good. It would be wise to keep the titles on Heath Slater & Rhyno for another month or so to further establish them as the best team, as opposed to guys who just lucked into the title.
If you’ve ever played Universe mode in WWE 2k, you’d think that was what you were watching tonight. It was a decent match between the Hype Bros and the Vaudvillains, with The Ascension just walking out to show off their new silver paint. Mojo is a fun hot tag and seems to be eclipsing Ryder, but I could be reading too much into it. They are attempting to rebuild The Ascension (which will be arduous task) and it’ll add depth if Smackdown can work some more of their booking magic and make The Hype Bros versus the Ascension an interesting thing.
Not a lot of people are excited about this, but I’m willing to give it a chance. A crappy gimmick is a great way to get heat. Ask New Day.
This was a good go home show, and No Mercy all of a sudden has a full card that we all can get excited about. The GM was only used in the Breast Cancer segment, and the rest of the show was just a bunch of wrestlers hating and beating up each other. So Simple!! Just one thing that really bothers me, WHERE IS BREEZANGO?!!
My grade: an A- if I was drunk.